The Mischief Never Stops
by s1mply.cOmplicAted
Summary: calvin & hobbes..always getting in trouble. please review!
1. the roadrunner

1"Hobbes! Hobbes! Guess what?" The little six-year-old boy burst in the room jumping up and down. He found his best friend, a stuffed tiger, reading his comic books.

"Hey! Your not allowed to read those!" he said snatching the latest _Stupendous Man _out of Hobbes's paws.

"Fine," Hobbes replied sticking out his tongue.

"Fine. Have it your own way. I won't tell you what the great news is then."

"Fine by me," Hobbes said turning over and picking up an older comic book and flipping through it only letting the rustling of pages break the eerie silence in the anticipating room.

"AAH! I can't take it anymore! Dad got me a go-kart!" shouted Calvin.

"That's nice," said Hobbes showing no sign of enthusiasm at all.

"Are you kidding?" Calvin said staring incredulously at Hobbes.

"Why? It's nothing special," Hobbes answered calmly.

"Are you for real?" Calvin started to hit Hobbes over the head with a pillow. "This is only the best go-kart you can get! It's the best and fastest out there! It's called _The Roadrunner_." Calvin held up both hands like he was staring through a camera at Hobbes and had a strange expression to absorb the moment.

Hobbes just stared at Calvin. "_The Roadrunner_?" asked Hobbes. "Why _The Roadrunner_? Why not _The Tiger_? I think that sounds a lot better."

"No! Are you crazy? The Tiger sounds dumb. _The Roadrunner _sounds perfect." Hobbes just raised an eyebrow at him. "Anyways, let's go check it out right now!"

Both raced down the stairs and met Calvin's dad at the foot of the steps. "Hey Calvin! Want me to show you how to ride the ol' go-kart? Then me and you could have fun together waking up at the crack of dawn and..."

Calvin's mom cut in, "After he does his homework though dear," she said sweetly. "Calvin, go to your room and do your homework," she said a little more aggressively. "And no playing, cookies or TV until you're done, understood? Miss Wormwood has said your grades are slipping very rapidly."

Calvin and Hobbes trudged up the stairs slowly. "Dictatorship," Calvin said to Hobbes once they were safely in Calvin's room once more. "I wanted to ride in _The Roadrunner_!" complained Calvin. "Hey, can you start on my homework now? I need to read my latest comic book."

"No. Only if you give me 25 cents."

"Fine. Here. Take it. I hope you're happy."

"Thank you," Hobbes said as he once again stuck out his tongue as Calvin gave him a menacing look. "Oh! I know this one. 3+333. 5+656. Wow. This is so easy," Hobbes told Calvin as Calvin sat reading his comic book. Although, Calvin's mind was not on _Stupendous Man_'s mighty rescue from the evil Lizard Man. The laser beam kept turning into the turbo flames in back of the go-kart taking him and Hobbes at lightning speed. Oh no! There was Lizard Man coming to get them! Calvin clung to Hobbes too frightened to move.

"Calvin! Will you let go of me? I got to finish your homework! I can't figure out what the problems with the line with a dot on the bottom and top in between the numbers means."

"Hobbes, I just got to ride in that go-kart!"

"How? Your mom told you not until you finished your homework and I'm not done."

"I think we can find a way past her," replied Calvin rubbing his small hands together with a look of mischief on his smirking face.


	2. the masked man

1"Ok Hobbes. I'll slip downstairs to make sure that nothing can get in the way of our top secret plans." As Calvin said this, he gave Hobbes a quick wink.

"Top secret plans? What top secret plans?" questioned Hobbes.

"SSH! Hobbes! Their top secret! We don't even know their so top secret."

Leaving Hobbes more confused than ever at the top of stairs in the safety of Calvin's room, Calvin slowly made his way down the stairs. He saw his mom in the kitchen and crept toward the garage door to sneak a peak at his beloved go-kart that he yet had to ride.

"Calvin! What are you doing? Did you finish your homework?" Calvin's mom had her hands on her hips and had a serious expression on her face.

"Oh hi mom!" started Calvin. "Yeah, I'm just about done with my homework. It's coming along. Those math problems. Tricky devils aren't they?"

Calvin's mom didn't seem to buy it though. "What are you doing down here then if your homework isn't done?"

"I'm not doing anything! I'm taking a break. Those math problems sure tire you out. I'm not doing anything suspicious if that's what your thinking. Because I'm not! I'm not doing anything suspicious! Nothing out of the ordinary!" said Calvin a little hysterical.

"How can you be taking a break when I just sent you up to your room ten minutes ago? Well, you can go right back upstairs to your room young man and finish your homework now. And for goodness sake Calvin, calm down. My Woman's Club is coming over anytime now so I want you to be on your best behavior ok?"

Calvin trudged up the stairs, one by one. He reached his room and found Hobbes working on the last questions on his math homework. "Well Hobbes. Mom's Woman's Club is coming any minute now. The go-kart will have to wait."

As the minutes crawled passed, Calvin and Hobbes could hear a group of women talking nonstop downstairs in the living room. Hobbes had finished Calvin's homework and was now reading the latest comic book. Calvin was on the floor playing with his Spaceman Spiff action figures.

"I can't stand it anymore!" yelled Calvin to Hobbes. He started to run around his room shaking his arms in the air until he collapsed on the bed next to Hobbes. Hobbes just kept on reading the comic book and didn't pay attention to Calvin's insanity. "Hobbes! Don't you get it? We have to think of a way to ride in the go-kart!"

"Well, good luck with that," said Hobbes in a distant voice.

"Are you reading my comic book?" asked Calvin who was obviously annoyed at anything at the moment due to the lack of excitement and riding in his new go-kart. Calvin read to see which comic book Hobbes was reading: _Stupendous Man and the Evil Lizard Guy Edition 12_. "Stupendous Man? But I haven't even found out the ending." "O well, I finished your homework so I get to read this comic book," Hobbes said leaving the room in total silence. Calvin sat next to Hobbes for a couple minutes when he had a sudden burst of inspiration.

"That's it Hobbes!" And with those few words, Calvin dashed into his closet. Hobbes sat quietly reading the comic book with the distant sounds of rummaging drawers in the closet on the other side of the room. There was a sudden BAM! and a little person burst out the closet and jumped on Calvin's bed. Hobbes was very startled and tore his eyes away from the comic book despite the excitement of Stupendous Man zapping Lizard Man over the head with his lazar eyes.

"Stupendous Man! Fighter of Justice and Liberty!" cried the little person.

"Calvin, what are you doing?" asked Hobbes to the little person with a red mask on his face and a billowing cape behind him.

"Calvin? Who is Calvin? I am Stupendous Man! Fighter of Justice and Liberty!" said the little person again.

"I rest my case," said Hobbes more to himself than to the strange confused person in front of him. Without a second thought, Hobbes returned to his comic book and read to find Stupendous Man fighting on the Golden Gate Bridge.

When Stupendous Man saw that Hobbes was not interested at all, he decided to go on the mission alone without a side-kick. "I am Stupendous Man on a mission to get to my Stupendous Mobile in the garage and fight the evil Lizard Woman and her gang down the dark alley way!"

When he saw that the tiger was still not interested, he could not help but be a little annoyed but instead made a fake trumpet noise, stopped at the door and yelled, "I'm off to fight for Justice and Liberty for all mankind!" And with that final word, Stupendous Man ran out the door with his cape rustling behind him and leaving the tiger reading the beloved comic strip that would one day be Calvin's very favorite comic book of all time...


	3. chaos in the living room

1Stupendous Man tried not to make a sound on the second floor. He stopped right before the stairway and placed his head through the railings of the balcony. An evil smile lighted his small little face. To his delight, he saw a table groaning under the weight of the many dishes of food upon it that was in the middle of the living room right in front of the garage door.

About twelve women sat with their legs crossed at the little table, including Calvin's mother. And the sight of the cake in the middle of the group of women made Stupendous Man's smile even wider. The women were talking excitedly about the latest gossip to one another and sipping coffee in between pauses with Calvin's mother's best china.

Stupendous Man knew what he had to do. He had to distract the evil Lizard Woman and her gang so that he could get to his Stupendous Mobile. With his top secret plan planted in his mind, he tiptoed down the stairs and pushed himself against the wall so that no one could see him. "And if anyone does see me," he thought, "I'll blast them with my laser vision." With that comforting thought, Stupendous Man whipped behind the couch.

He slowly peaked over and fortunately saw that the evil Lizard Woman and her gang did not see him. He was safe. Plan A was finished. Knowing that he had to make the sacrifice of being the distraction, Stupendous Man dashed behind the wall again and raced under the table and was trapped in a circle of the Lizard Woman and her gang. Fortunately, they were still talking and had not noticed that their opponent was right under their very nose ready to attack.

"I know Melissa. Isn't my little boy just the cutest boy ever? His golden curls and beautiful blue eyes, I could just die. Now what was that?" The woman curiously looked under the table to see what had rubbed against her leg. When she lifted up the tablecloth, she gave a absolutely horrific scream that would have scared anyone to death. There was a little boy with a mask and cape and had an absolutely hideous grin on his face.

"DIE, YOU EVIL LIZARD WOMAN ACCOMPLICE! DIE!" All the woman were absolutely frightened by both the scream and little stranger that was not invited to their little party who decided to show up under the table and surprise them. There was absolute chaos in the living room as the little stranger ran around the room and started throwing food at them. Pastries were thrown, tea spilled on the delicate lace tablecloth, and the salad bowl flew on top of the evil woman head, salad dressing streaming down her burning red face. "CALVIN!"

"HAHA! DIE! YOU CAN'T DESTROY STUPENDOUS MAN! I'M MADE OF STEEL!" cried the little person. The women, trying to get away from the crazy maniac, tried to hide themselves, under the table, behind the couch, anywhere that would conceal them from the insane person who called himself "Stupendous Man."

Stupendous Man, obviously having the wrong impression, cried, "HA! NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME!" And once again, the little stranger ran around the room. Calvin's mom watching in horror at what was happening before her very eyes, tried to grab the little boy but was not successful.

"HORRIBLE EVIL FIENDS! WALLS CANNOT BLOCK THE AMAZING POWERS OF STUPENDOUS MAN! YOU HAVE BEEN OUTWITTED! SURRENDER OR DIE! " he yelled as Calvin's mom kept making an attempt to catch him. Finally, the little boy jumped on the little table right into the beautiful cake that Calvin's mom had worked so hard and was the only food that wasn't destroyed. "It's a bird!" said one woman, "It's a plane!" cried another woman. "No it's..." and the little boy yelled, "STUPENDOUS MAN!" The little stranger made a fake trumpet noise in triumph, jumped off the table and went flying toward the garage door while yelling, "DEFENDER OF JUSTICE AND LIBERTY! FEAR ME! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR MY SUPER STUPENDOUS STRENGTH! DIE OR..."

Stupendous Man never got to finish his speech. He felt a pain around his waist as he was caught in midair and saw that it was hands gripping him very tight around the middle. He saw the living room disappear and found himself swinging up the stairs in the evil Lizard Woman's arm. Apparently, she had foiled him and found a way to take of the salad bowl that was to restrain her. "HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I'M STUPENDOUS MAN! I'M SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT YOU! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE HURTING ME! PUT ME DOWN!" he yelled all the way up to his room.

The evil Lizard Woman put Stupendous Man down on the bed and said in a deadly whisper, "You better stay in this room until I come back and then we are going to have a little talk." It was obvious the evil Lizard Woman meant business and all Stupendous Man could do was nod slowly. With great rage, she turned around and headed back downstairs.

"Did you save the day?" asked Hobbes still reading the _Stupendous Man_ comic book. "No! I didn't even get to the garage door! I want to ride _The RoadRunner_ so bad," said Stupendous Man taking off his mask and cape. "But I did defeat the Lizard Woman and her evil gang!" said Calvin in triumph. "Victory is mine! Justice reigns yet again," said Calvin with a small hint of pride. "I'm in just a small hint of trouble though," said Calvin with a little grin.

We will not go into details about what happened to Calvin when he and his mom had that little chat the Lizard Woman mentioned. However, Susie Derkins was alarmed as she passed by the house on her way home and told her mom that she had heard terrified screams and yelling in Calvin's house and saw through the window that Calvin's mom and Calvin were playing "tag". Although, Calvin's mom was taking the game very seriously indeed and shouting threats at Calvin while he ran for his life inside the house. Mrs. Derkins told their neighbor and they told their neighbor...and well, you get the picture. Soon the whole neighborhood knew what had happened on that fateful day while Calvin's mom's Woman's Club was innocently having tea and lunch at the house. The Woman's Club never did have another tea party at that house again.

Calvin was grounded for...well, a long time...and was forced to clean the living room until the room sparkled. Why I say he was forced was because the whole time, Calvin kept yelling at his mother, "I TELL YOU IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS STUPENDOUS MAN!" It wasn't until Calvin's mom threatened to break apart the go-kart into little pieces and burying them all over the city so that there was no hope to put the go-kart together again that Calvin started to clean the room as he was told. Hobbes just stayed up in Calvin's room reading _Stupendous Man Editions 1-12 _and got to read the newest edition, _Stupendous Man vs. the Iron Gut Edition 13_, before Calvin since he was so busy cleaning the living room and the _RoadRunner _sat in the garage lonely and deserted. Calvin's mom also took Calvin's Stupendous Man costume away but this was a huge mistake on her part for little did she know that Calvin would do something entirely worse than this little incident with her Woman's Club...Much worse...


End file.
